The Borderlands Movie Survival Guide
Hey Vault Hunter,
If you’re here, chances are, you barely survived “The Borderlands Movie Disaster,” and currently would have more fun choking on a giant German hot dog or pouring bleach into your eyes — BUT, before you do any of that, let’s try and pull you back from the brink of self destruction and cure your pasted mind.
Behold, the…
Survival Guide to the Borderlands MoviE!
After watching the Borderlands movie, I couldn’t help but feel confused and a headache for the whole day. Afterwards, my confusion turned to pain and a need to vent, so I created this as a means of catharsis for myself and to any other Vault Hunters in kinship that’s going through similar pains.
We’ve got you.
Without further ado, here’s Vindicated’s Borderlands Movie Survival Guide, written to help you catharsisize!
1. Play The Games!
The games are still the ultimate escape. Here’s an easy checklist to see which Borderlands you should jump to!
Game Checklist
1st time playing Borderlands or looking for the best experience? Go with Borderlands 2.
Played all the games and enjoy the good ones? Start with Borderlands.
Played many other Borderlands, but never played Tales From the Borderlands? Then, you need to play it now (you must however NEVER play the newer one. If you do this too soon after watching the movie, I fear you won’t be with us much longer.)
Halloween is around the corner? Play The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned.
On a fantasy / D&D kick? Play Tiny Tina’s Assault on Dragon Keep (not Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands.)
Played one and two, but not the others? Play The Pre-Sequel
Played 1, 2, Tales, and The Pre-Sequel? Play Borderlands 3 (be warned, the story sucks, BUT the DLCs are pretty fun!)
2. Fix Some Food
Nothing says comfort like some good cooking! Here’s some Borderlands inspired recipes to check out.
3. Roll Dice B*TCHES!
Sometimes the movies aren’t a great experience, but being at a table with your friends, playing games can be beyond enjoyable.
There’s the official Bunkers & Badasses, you can check out here.
There’s the unofficial one we made years before, you can check here.
Or if you’re feeling really chaotic, you could check our game Otherworlds, which is a weird mashup of the color and chaos of Borderlands, but with some of the imagination, systems, and camaraderie of Final Fantasy.
4. Last But Not Least
I somehow have watched the Borderlands Movie, but not the Fallout series from Amazon (which we’ve heard is amazing!) While I know Fallout is different from our beloved Pandora, I’m hoping it will give me some zany, fun, wasteland action I’m missing from the Borderlands movie… we shall see!
In a Chaotic Closing
If you’ve made it this far, chances are, you’re probably pretty rad and likely don’t use the word rad, so we’d love to have you in our Discord community here.
In the world of Borderlands, survival isn’t just about fighting the bad guys—it’s also about surviving the terrible movies. Happy vault hunting!
Stay awesome!
Vincent